This year has been a whirlwind with some of the happiest moments and some of the most heart breaking, but I have learnt so much. I am no longer in a relationship, I have made it to my final year of my degree and it feels like a million other things have happened along the way.

I talked to a friend this evening who has been there for me through everything. She knows scary amount about me and I about her, no way will I be letting her out of my sight!! But, she knows all the right things to say to cheer me up when I’m having a really bad day, we have the most hilarious conversations about the absolute messes our lives can be 😂 and I’m so very grateful for her. But as we were talking, she said a lot of things that made sense – I have to let myself talk about my emotions more openly, I need to ask for help when I need it and I must take time out for myself; otherwise I’ll end up being in a worse place than when I started.

I have realised that I am not going to be every single person’s favourite human, this is something I’ve struggled with for a long while. I’m such a people pleaser and I worry so much about not being perfect enough to suit or satisfy every person that I meet, be it a new friend or a guy who I could potentially have something with. My plan for next year is to try and calm my anxious thoughts and feelings when I meet someone new and just to see where life takes me with them.

I am not always the most positive person; I’ll freely admit that (as would my mum!) but I have found that you don’t have to be permanently positive to get through life – you just need to be able to find that element of positivity when you need it the most. The latter few months of the year have proved to me that I CAN find my inner strength when I need it and I am proud of myself for getting through some of the toughest months of my life. I definitely wouldn’t have been able to get through everything without my family and true friends. It still makes me laugh at how supposed ‘friends’ distance themselves when things get tricky, so I am beyond grateful to those who have stuck by my side. ❤

I already have so much planned for next year! I’m going to see my friends more, particularly the ones who live far away and I miss so much. I am going to be applying for jobs – how freaking scary?!! But I know what I want and I’m determined to get it. So this time next year, I’ll hopefully be in an amazing job. I am doing the London Marathon in April… yes, I’m insane, yes, I’m 100% going to do it (all 26.2 miles) and yes, my body will probably hate me! But I’m training a lot and I feel so much better about myself already, so it’s a win, win.

2019 is for me to do more of the things I love and flourish into the person I am ready to become!